A Special Note to Fathers

From, WC Hoecke, a Family Connection Father

I have talked with hundreds of dads. One thing we all have in common is the sense of loss of the dream we had of what our child may do and be. Yet, the reality is that few, if any of us, met the expectations of our own fathers. I never became the engineer that my father expected; you may not have been the ball player your dad anticipated. But our parents had many years to discover that their dreams would be re-directed. I had to digest this reality in the time it took someone at the hospital to say “Your child has Down syndrome.”

The loss of this dream is real, and it is quite natural to be upset. I can also say that although I am not the engineer my dad wanted me to be, my parents – and especially my dad’s encouragement – have been the most significant factors in realizing the dreams that I have created for myself.

Your role is even more significant now….

I have learned to take life at a slower pace. I understand so much better the stages of child development and how each stage builds on the next. You will hear a lot of us say that our child has made us much better fathers than if we had not experienced this world of disabilities “My wife and I approach our child very differently. We never use the same approach but choose to talk it out to become one minded on the way we care for our son.” – A Father

Please understand, your child will succeed at the thing they choose to accomplish. Some of our children are holding down full-time employment, attending college, authoring books and even getting married.

Will my child reach these aspirations? I really do not know. For me, the hardest part of being a dad is still having to wait and see. Our children may amaze us with the things they are interested in and the dreams they will create for themselves. A realistic goal is helping them walk through all the developmental stages to achieve the dreams they will create for themselves.

Click here to link to National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse